Most of my friends have school age children. When they were having kids I was traveling all over for work, popping in and out for baby showers. I never did anything for a new mother aside from picking out cute outfits on a registry and wishing them well.
Now that I’m almost 3 weeks in, I have new perspective.
Here are 5 things you can do for a new mom you know:
1) Bring us dinner
This lovely meal was brought by my former boss and the excited little 3 year old I used to nanny. Bringing a new mom a meal is a very kind gesture. Not having to think about dinner is wonderful. I could be as simple as a rotisserie chicken and Panera Bread Mac and Cheese, like my awesome friend Lindsay brought when she came to visit. Any meal is greatly appreciated.
2) Hold the baby
This may seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes moms just need a minute to rest without a baby attached to us. I think some visitors have been nervous about asking to hold Quinn. I’m all “Here! Please take her for a minute while I remember what having both arms free feels like!” I’m not one of those crazy mothers afraid to put my baby down or let other people cuddle her. Sometimes I want someone else to hold her so I can snap a few pictures of someone besides me holding her.
3) Talk to us about something other than the new baby
Yep. We love her.
She’s adorable and chubby and pretty cool. But I’m still a 31 year old woman with a brain and a need to chit chat about current events and pop culture. It can’t be all baby all the time. I don’t want to lose my identity just because I’m a mom. I have great friends that know how I feel about this, so they call me up to tell me funny stories and talk about all of the normal things we used to talk about before Quinn. Of course they ask about her, but the conversation isn’t all her all the time. I cherish these phone conversations.
4) Don’t ask us how much sleep we’re getting.
Of course we aren’t getting any. The last thing we want to do is focus on it. I’m just rolling with it and trying to sleep when I can. I find that when someone draws attention to it I think a lot more about it than I would if I just ignore the fact that I may never sleep again.
5) Ask us this very important question: “Is there anything you need?”
I was asked this question and I answered “bottled water” quicker than I could even think straight. A visitor came with a case of bottled water. I’m nursing and we are burning through more water than my Brita pitcher can hold. Ask that question and really listen to the response. Sometimes the answer may be as simple as “someone to fold a load of clothes” or “someone to talk to about last night’s premier of The Voice”.
I wish I would’ve known these things when my friends were having babies.
Quinn wants to know what else you think would help make new moms more comfortable?
